A couple of weeks ago a particular youth group's activities were brought to my attention entitled Peanut Butter Salvation: Why a Southside MegaChurch Thinks That Goldfish Swallowing and Toe-Licking Will Lead the Next Generation to God. Honestly, I have read alot of stuff involving our youth especially some sickening things concerning the music directed at the youth when I was preparing the CCM pdf. But I was so disgusted and saddened by this particular article that I couldn't finish reading it at first.
Why such a reaction? Because I have two teens and a preteen that could very well be involved in these same activities if we had not decided years ago to eliminate youth group activities from our church experience. Although some of my children are strong enough that they would not do something that they felt uncomfortable with, I do know that some would follow the crowd especially if directed to do so by a trusted leader.
The Pilgrim at Defending. Contending. took the information I shared with him and was able to write a very good explanation of some of the issues involved in the typical youth ministry and their activities to get a crowd. While it is not a pretty subject it is very necessary for anyone with youth, or even younger children, to become aware of what is being done in youth groups today. Even if the activities are different the ideas and worldly view behind much of the activities are the same.
A general idea behind these activities is to encourage our children to:
Lose your inhibitions. Young people usually have inhibitions against doing anything too embarrassing or shameful. These exercises are designed to free people from such hang-ups. For some reason, post-Freudian psychologists whose “sensitivity groups” are the model for these kinds of exercises maintain that such inhibitions are bad. Christians, though, have always insisted that we need to feel inhibited about indulging in things for which we should feel ashamed. This is part of what we mean by developing a conscience. ~ Gene Edward Veith
They are actually encouraging the youth to give into to peer pressure! What many parents are fighting tooth and nail to keep our children from doing. The youth group is encouraging all under the assumed respectability of the "Church".
Peanut butter salvation and other stupid church tricks.
... just silly men who have never grown up, getting paid to play silly games with kids who will eventually be inoculated against true Biblical Christianity.]Please pass this along to any who feel having their children in a popular youth program in a church will be beneficial to their salvation or spiritual growth. One parent can't change the direction of the average youth group but several parents standing together just might.
...
[So let me get this straight. Standing up for Jesus requires boldness and fearlessness, but instead of instilling that in the youth by having them actually stand up for Jesus, or even showing them by example, instead you have them perform sick, twisted, and erotic games and this will somehow help them stand up for Jesus? And if they need to perform these juvenile games to stand up for Jesus then does that not mean that you're suggesting to them that their source of strength comes not from God but from them and their willingness to act like fools? Here's a novel idea: Try having them become "fearless" by actually proclaiming Jesus Christ, and start with you by boldly preaching Jesus Christ. Then encourage the one's that are really sincere to take missions trips to countries where standing up for Jesus will get you imprisoned, tortured and/or killed. Somehow I don't think the countless martyrs throughout church history and today needed to lick peanut butter off someone's toes in order to stand up for Jesus.]
I would also encourage anyone to pull their children from any youth group of this type. You just might be surprised at how your teen grows when actually in a serious, Biblical Bible study.
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19 comments:
My 4 1/2 yr old grandchild is the only "youth" in our church. I struggle at times for him to have some peers but have found he is learning so much through attending the meetings. Bible stories children learn in sunday school can be taught at home .
Leigh,
We are in small churches now and there are no other young children for mine to interact with. But really they aren't deprived. They get plenty of attention from the adults and even during the services we might sing a song just specifically for them such as "Just The Same Today". Like you said, our teaching them at home has much impact on their Bible Studies . We can't just think a few hours of church will do the job. I think over time though you will be amazed at how much a 4 year old is learning even during the adult geared teaching. My own 4 year old astounds me with what he learns.
Berean Wife
My goodness. Lose your inhibitions. I thought the Christian life was all about freedom in Christ which comes from having inhibitions towards sin!
My boys are 6 & 7 yrs old. If Jesus Christ tarries I don't even want to think about what the world environment will be like for them in another 10yrs. My work and that of my husband is cut out for us. Making sure we teach them to be soldiers in the army of God with the right inhibitions in place all the while enjoying the freedom of Christ and joy in His presence.
Thanks for bringing the truth home to me even more profoundly than I've felt it before.
Youth groups are approached with an 'well here's where they are, so let's begin here...'
I've fought plenty for reform among youth groups. One youth pastor dedicated his service to teaching the kids how to conduct themselves during homecoming, from lessons on starting the date to having the kids learn how to dance together (I sat and watched the whole thing) then I approached the head pastor who's first reply was 'yeah it's not the best thing, but you can't expect the kids not to go' then I told him of another similar urban youth group which did take a stand not to attend such filth. Well we had a meeting with two pastors and the youth 'pastor', which I objected to the silly games, worldly music, and the homecoming situation and the reply from the associate pastor was 'well, I'm willing to try anything' (I'm like totally CHARLIE BROWN 'ARGGH, I CAN'T STAND IT!')
In the last church we were at, which was more suburban, a family church (many generations) a very large amt of older saints. Well one senoir had this plan to do a evangelistic lock-in at the YMCA for his school, well plenty of parents were involved. We had several meetings and they had the ridiculous idea to have the availability of the pool, I (in my 20's) was shocked that I, among older saints had to make a recommendation that they have some sort of dress code and t-shirts available (they didn't like my idea of NO pool!) In one meeting the youth pastor (not your typical Y.P. a father of teens, supposedly reformed) suggested a group from another church because they could mimic radio songs and that the lead singers are REALLY attractive which would draw the attention of the girls (at first I thought he was attempting to joke, but no he was serious).
I beg you to watch this parody on 'the greatest youth pastor' (funny but frightening because it's happening)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLGLBVSpBzY
This post and comments that follow have reminded me of the truth of the saying, "Sin doesn't stand still." We left a church with an active youth group when our oldest was 11 (he's now 23) and they were trying to get us to let him start participating, before officially joining the next year. At that time, just reading the Topic Titles that were to be discussed in the Junior High Sunday School class was shocking enough. I didn't need any more information. But I was told that they were gearing it to the unsaved public school kids coming from broken homes, and what issues those kids were dealing with. I spoke up and protested when I found out that the proposed upcoming curriculum was not going to use the Bible, but "issues." I got nowhere. The next church was a small one, and we made our stance known that we did not participate in youth groups (they were just trying to start one up and wanted our support via our children's participation). I don't think they ever understood our convictions really.
These stories are appalling and shocking to me (and our family), but standard fare for the average Christian teen.
Wendy
Hello Berean Wife!
I am very much enjoying your blog. I found it through Defending-Contending and also read the Youth group article that they recently posted. It is so sad that so many churches are, in essence, emasculating the role of the father in a family by basically encouraging parents to leave the 'discilping' to the youth leaders.
This is an issue that has been speaking to my heart recently, even though my children are only 3 and 1. I see no Biblical support to encourage them to be a member of a youth group when they are teenagers. The responsibility for their Biblical upbringing is solely their father's and mine.
We have several friends who are involved in their churches as youth leaders and our convictions on this issue, as we have shared them, have ruffled some feathers.
Thank you for sharing your research through this blog!
Fruitful Vine2,
Being inhibited about sin had always seemed to be a good thing when I've been reading the Bible.
The differences between what my oldest (18) was exposed to as a little child when out in public and what my youngest (4) is exposed to is tremendously different. I can't imagine what it will be like when the baby is 18. We cannot drive without seeing offensive billboards. Nor can we shop without seeing immodesty and profane music.
Our churches should be a safe haven for our children but they are becoming enemy territory quickly.
Berean Wife
Julius,
We've had similar experiences with trying to talk to the church leaders about the direction the church was going.
A church recreation minister we know ended up leaving a church over a disagreement about pools and pool rules. He was not able to convince others that mixed swimming at the camp was unwise for teens. That was several years ago and now no one blinks an eye about the issue. :(
I'm afraid the video isn't too funny. I seriously have seen enough to suspect it is based on the facts of the average youth ministry. Talk about millstones!
Berean Wife
Wendy,
We joined a church that we thought was an improvement when our oldest were young. Within a year they started up children's church and wanted our help. I had no qualms saying no thank you. We even encouraged a preteen missions group as an alternative to the youth group. That group, although very small, did well and served others but it just didn't have the appeal of the pizza, bowling, and swim parties in the youth group.
It is a nice and good break to be in such small churches right now that there are no real youth and children's ministries to worry about. The parents are the youth leaders.
Berean Wife
Mrs. Lindblom,
Hello and welcome. The parents are God's leaders for the children. Thankfully there are a few pastors that are beginning to seriously remind the church of that fact. (Baucham, Washer, etc.) We as parents are also going to be held responsible for how we trained, or didn't train our children.
It is wise for you to be considering the issue so young. It is much easier to never begin in the children's and youth groups than it is to start and then try to pull the children back out when problems occur.
This is a very sensitive subject. Two things I've found that will cause much strife in a church are questioning the music or questioning what is done with the children. It is hard to get any serious discussion on the matter because emotions get so involved. That is why I'm glad that Defending. Contending. and The Pilgrim wrote about this because my emotions did get involved.
Thanks for visiting and sharing.
Berean Wife
Fruitful Vine2,
Hey, I remember having "spoken" with you before. It has been well over a year. My brain left there for a while, but you live in the islands. Hope things are going well. At least is was a rather peaceful summer storm wise.
Berean Wife
This is precisely why Mark started writing all his own lessons. So much of what is available to youth pastors as *lessons* is 10-15 minutes of music to get them *fired up* 10-15 minutes of games to get them *loosened up* 10-15 minutes of a *lesson*, which is usually just some feel-good "God loves you and wants the best for you" kind of thing** then a 5 minute wrap up. Combine that with the fact that most of the youth we serve are not getting any spiritual guidance at home (most of them no guidance at all) and it is no wonder that so many church youth groups look so worldly.
** I think it is very important to tell teenagers that God loves them and wants the best for them. Some of them think that nobody loves them. They need to know God cares about them. I just think there is a danger in focusing on "God loves you" if you never teach "God hates sin" (even more dangerous is not teaching "what is sin") They begin to think that God loves them, no matter what they do.
Kelli,
I know you and Mark would thoroughly disapprove of this kind of activity. But I'm sure at times you feel like you are fighting a losing battle. You have youth who do want to be entertained like the above examples. Parents who want whatever it takes to get the youth involved. And a church who looks at the numbers and say if we just do “x,y,z,” like this other church, we'll have a large youth group too.
I imagine Mark learns more by preparing his own lessons than he ever could by a "canned" lesson. The youth who want to learn will learn much more, also.
Your point about youth and love is right. But I've found that the reasons that youth struggle so much with feeling loved, even if with a loving family, is because they cannot love themselves. I'm not talking poor self-esteem but the fact that youth know who they really are and they do see the sin in their lives, if only in their thought life. They understand how sinful they are, but will deny it publically, so how can God love them. That is why it is so important to discuss sin, God's hatred of sin, and what Christ really did for us. Not just the Jesus died so you can go to heaven typical youth message. Only as they age and get harden to the gospel message to they begin thinking God doesn't care what they do, He loves them anyway.
Berean Wife
Goodness ME! Having children eat peanut butter off the armpits of an adult to prove they are courageous...WHY ISN'T THAT IDIOT IN JAIL!
How about encourage them to preach the Gospel to their peers as a test of their courage.
I am grateful I do not go to church. This stuff is SICK! And anyone who simply drops off their kid and leaves the teaching of anything to a stranger is...sorry, a MORON.
No on else is responsible to teach your child and no one else is more equiped and no one else has to go before God at the end of the age and answer for it.
Many Blessings :)
Ace
I am quite late to this discussion, but I want to jump in anyway. If someone already raised this point, forgive me.
The problem with so many youth groups in churches, and churches in general, is that too much of the ministry is geared toward being relevant to the culture in an effort to regain the lost.
The church is a place for the edifying and equipping of the saints for ministry, who in turn go out and spread the good news of the gospel.
Sadly, many church leaders don't seem to realize that the watering down of godly standards doesn't draw the lost. in fact, it may do just the opposite as these young people see that the Christian life really isn't too different from the life they are currently leading.
The result is frivolous confessions of faith after a formulaic prayer, that is in many cases, not a true conversion at all. Of course, these kids will be touted as evidence ("we had 10 confessions of faith last night!") that what they are doing is working and the spiral downward continues.
Ace,
Honestly, I thought that some of this was crossing into illegal territory myself. Believe me I wouldn't want my children spending time with someone who felt teens licking others was appropriate!
Thankfully we are not in that situation with our churches. We have our children with us for all activities and under our guidance. It is nice and we have the added benefit of being able to discuss the Bible study together afterwards.
Berean Wife
Terry,
Never too late for a discussion. :)
You raise a very interesting point, one that I've tried to discuss previously with other church leaders.
What is the point of church services?
Are they for evangelizing the lost?
Or for equipping the saints?
Honestly, if you read in Acts you will find these verses just after the story of Ananias and Sapphira.
Acts 5:13-14
13 None of the rest dared join them, but the people held them in high esteem.
14 And more than ever believers were added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women, ESV
Seems to be pretty clear that those who were worshiping together were the believers. But also notice the Lord added to their number daily during the time recorded in Acts.
Oh, what if we could get back to that!
Berean Wife
I don't think most youth groups are doing what they do to 'get the lost' (although it may be stated) because most would never question the profession of their teens, rather it's geared to get the most attenders and a reason for paying a activities director to play 'pastor'.
I believe the problem is not seeing the beauty of Christ as the primary draw, and not believing that the word preached would actually impact them. The average youth group's foundation is influenced by Pyschology and MTV, meaning they act as though 'teens' are a unique category (which God forgot to address) that just can't be reached by ordinary (biblical) means. It is my conviction that the apathy towards preaching and holiness of life is coming from the leadership.
My advice would first (of course) to get rid of the youth group idea, aside from that, I'd beg churches to consider that teens need and want meat (doctrinally rich teaching), not to mention that teens have so many questions (so I would certainly encourage q&a sessions). Teens eat this stuff up, I have seen it time and time again. When I preach at the juvenile jails (every Sat for 7+yrs) I have witnessed teens listening to a sermon for an hour (if any are among the 'low-attention' span group, they are) and when I am able to open up for questions, more than not the questions are very practical and insightful (I do this more importantly for the sake of clarity, I want to know what they are grasping or misundertanding).
Christians who believe in the Holy Spirit's ability to apply the word should expect MUCH MUCH more from our youth (not to mention our children).
Having 5 back to back births have rapidly taught us much about expecting MORE from our children (everyone's slow to learn that with the 1st) but even something like Cathecisms for children was something we waited for with our first two boys, but with the twins (3rd pregnancy) we saw how they quickly grasped things, for instance the twins are able to answer 20+ questions and the scripture passages (at 2yrs old)
and we really aren't that aggresive with it (nor are we the greatest model), but that's something we would NEVER have thought they could handle and yet the tragedy is that the majority of Christian youth haven't been exposed to even that much truth.
Julius,
I think very few churches would question anyone who made a profession of faith without any corresponding fruit of salvation. It isn't just the youth groups are rather more likely that the church as a whole has become more like a youth group - entertainment oriented.
"I believe the problem is not seeing the beauty of Christ as the primary draw, and not believing that the word preached would actually impact them."
You are correct. Many would deny they think that, but they act as if Jesus and the gospel could never possibly achieve the desired results without our help and our doctoring of the message or adding more appeal.
I've written before that the children and youth really do desire the meat. Give 'em The Meat
I’m afraid it isn’t just that we expect too little of our children. We also expect too little of ourselves. It is amazing when you read the biographies of our Christian forefathers. They seemed to never stop and accomplished so much, some like Mueller did more after he retired than many of us will ever in a lifetime accomplish.
Berean Wife
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